Groucho Marx

real name Julius Henry Marx; American humorist; b. 1890; d. 1977

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

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tiny.ag/bkfg47jr · submitted 1997

I didn't like the play. But I saw it under unfavorable circumstances -- the curtains were up.

tiny.ag/hwvmnmsf · submitted 1997

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

tiny.ag/bn17or2l · submitted 1997

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

tiny.ag/l9ib3pad · submitted 1997

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

tiny.ag/5i2ylath · submitted 1997

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

tiny.ag/7gpwjccm · submitted 1997

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. And inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

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